Sad and Beautiful World (Original Blog 2004-2008)

We Sink Deeper into the Sound

Taken in Corolla, North Carolina (The Outer Banks) on the Sound side. Texture added. People and seagulls were already there. :-)

End of Summer

We're back from our vacation, a wonderful and exhausting but also relaxing time spent sitting on the beach, taking long walks, eating amazing food and reconnecting with good friends.

The kiddo starts school tomorrow. We all want another week off.

I was hardly on the Internet at all and it was good.

I took over 450 photos.

I have a million things to do this week alone.

If anything major happened this past week in your lives, tell me about it here, will ya? I followed the news and kept up with mail, but that's about it. :-) How amazing is this Presidential race?!? Loving it!

Happy Labor Day to my American friends.

Hope to be back semi-regularly soon.
xo

"Don't forget what you've learned all you give is returned" / Day 366 Year 2

Thus marks the end of Year Two.

And as of right now, this marks the end of taking a self-portrait every day for me.

I thought long and hard about this and while there are certain things I will greatly miss, there are many more reasons for me to stop. I’m spending far too much of my time and energy on Flickr (I’m sure some of you can relate…heh) and not enough on other things. I spend too much time worrying about how many comments I get and whether I’m spending enough time commenting elsewhere. I’ve thought about shutting down the comments as one of my friends has done (a decision I support and respect), but it isn’t me. And I love the comments and have developed some truly wonderful relationships because of the comments.

I love you guys, seriously, and don’t wish to minimize the importance of the community aspect of this site. It is a sharing site, after all. The community means as much to me as any other part. I have so much more to say about this and WILL say more about this in a couple of weeks as I flesh out my thoughts (a post to introduce a new design and blog focus here, finally)!

I will most certainly still be taking self-portraits. I just won’t have to do them every single day.

I will likely post some more photos this week and then my family is going to the Outer Banks of North Carolina for a week (23rd to the 30th) with some of my dearest friends and their families. Time to relax and rejuvenate and energize myself for the next stage of my development. I have much I want to do when I get back!

Thank you all so much for sharing another year with me. I hope you will stick around to see what comes next. ☺

Tick Tick Tick

Time is running out.

Time flies.

Who has the time?

Just one more minute!

It's almost time...

...things are moving forward. I got hired the very same day of my birthday to do an urban-style family photo shoot on Sunday.

I finished and submitted my application for the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts Fellowship.

I have plans crystallizing. Changes are afoot, and so on.

Time is of the essence (so I hear).

BlogHer '08 Part I: Pleasantly surprised

I went to San Francisco with very little expectations, and as most of you probably know, keeping one’s expectations low usually results in being pleasantly surprised. 

Before I go into my own experience, let me just say that I really believe any large gathering of people is just a reflection of humanity and that bloggers are no more elitist or snobby or wonderful or friendly than any other cross-section of humanity. There is good and bad, always.

And so by some miracle of miracles, I was able to focus on the good this weekend. I did not attend the daytime panels at the conference and instead went out with Flickr friends, so maybe that helped. ☺

Thursday night was the welcome party for newcomers, as well as the “People’s Party” (which was not, I found out with some disappointment, a Communist organization. Heh). The newcomers’ party was on the very top floor of the Westin Hotel in a beautiful ballroom. The elevator goes outside the building for the last dozen or so floors, which was breathtaking. Cecily and I had gone out to dinner before-hand for Indonesian food with fellow bloggers Dan and Sarah. We had met Dan in Philadelphia for TequilaCon and Sarah has been a longtime reader of Cecily and by association, me. We had a great time with them and Dan picked the perfect restaurat. Sarah was convinced to come with us to the party. Cecily and I both remarked later how sweet she is and how it felt like we had always known her…could not have been more comfortable!

In the lobby of the Westin St. Francis we immediately began gathering a gaggle of other lost bloggers looking for the party. We got on the wrong elevators and had to come back down to the lobby to find the elevators that went to the top of the building. In the elevator I realized that Stephanie Klein was among us. At the party we got some water and stood around scoping everything out. I took some random photos. Stephanie then approached us and she and I began talking about photography while Cecily was talking with some of her fans. I have had so much on my mind about my photography in particular and photography in general that I just spilled out stuff to her (in reality, I was so sleep-deprived that I’m not sure I know all that I said). Stephanie was gracious and warm and just a total sweetheart and I know it is silly to be star struck by a blogger, but whatever. She’s famous, and she wanted to hang out with me, so I was a little verklempt over that at first. But it passed as I connected with her and I truly hope I made a new friend.

Eventually we made our way down to the People’s Party which was in a far-too-small room (although apparently there were a lot more people attending these pre-conference parties then ever before). We were too late for the swag, but I was able to find some bloggers I knew and continue to meet new ones. I got to give KerriAnne a big hug but sadly didn’t get to hang out with her at all, otherwise. I saw Karl and Hilly and never saw them again. I had a woman come up to me and say she’s been following my photos for over a year and never comments but loves them and had to meet me. I had that happen a few times over the weekend and I have to say, it is so freaking cool! Being recognized like that is so rewarding and makes me grin like a happy fool to be complimented in that way.

So we went back to our hotel feeling giddy with it all! I was amazed I hadn’t felt stressed out or insecure and I didn’t even want to smoke. It was awesome. The next morning Cecily and I said our goodbyes after getting our caffeine and I got onto the BART towards Oakland to meet my Flickr friend Therese. Getting the ticket was an adventure in itself because their machines are so stupid (you are supposed to know that even though it starts you at 20 bucks, you can hit the “minus 1.oo” over and over again to get down to 3 bucks, then the “plus .05” to get up to .70. Huh?

I went out to a little suburb past Oakland where Therese lives, as I had invited myself to her house. I wanted to see her prints and her darkroom. She was gracious enough to allow me to see her home, which was absolutely lovely and arty and exactly what I imagined. Seeing Therese was beautiful…talking about photography for hours and seeing her work in print form as it was originally done…made me really want to use film again. One day when I can afford it, I will play with film again. She also explained how she does her cyanotypes and so that is something I can play with and will soon once I get the chemicals needed. She took me out to lunch and then to this amazing set of trails on the bay called The Albany Bulb, where there are sculptures made from trash dotting the landscape. I took a lot of photos there and will be uploading soon. I have a lot of photos to go through from this trip, so keep your eye on my San Francisco set as I add more.

I got the BART back to SF and raced my way through the TONS of people on the streets to get to the hotel. I didn’t have much time to shower and get ready to go back to the Westin to meet up with Cecily again. I was wind-blown and filthy, but walking on air. I dashed into an elevator at the last second that normally I would have let go since there were more than 5 people in it. I caught my breath as the doors closed and realized I was looking right at Jon Armstrong. I had no time to really think. “Oh my God,” I said, “It’s Jon Armstrong…” just then Heather peeked around from behind some random person blocking my view “…and Heather!” I only had time to shake their hands and introduce myself as Sarah. Heather said she thought she saw me on Flickr looking at photos tagged with “BlogHer08” (so I think she was talking about my selfie of me sprawled on the hotel bed). I spewed out “Yeah, I have one tagged and up already” and then tried to get off the elevator with them on their floor. I backed up and said, “Well see you later!” and of course never did see them again. The doors shut and I turned to the 4 business people in the elevator, opened my mouth… …and then closed it. I had nobody to tell. I went back to my room and saw myself in the mirror and laughed so hard…I looked like a completely insane person! My hair was so windblown from being at the bay and racing through the streets. I also later realized they had JUST arrived and were likely staying at the hotel where the conference wasn’t so as to avoid being accosted in the elevator. Ooops.

Well, Heather and Jon, I’m sorry for that and I am sorry I only had a short elevator ride to say anything because what I would also have said is, “Thank you. I admire you both and enjoy your writing and photography immensely and I think people who say mean things suck.”

(Part II tomorrow)

The Show

The Art of the State show was fantastic! What a great party they put on...tons of people were there. The space is really large and then there was a catered reception in a big hall at the top of these escalators. I missed all the hot food because I had to run right into the exhibit and find my piece. D’oh! I heard the food was really good.

Seeing the work all hanging and finding mine blew me away. I was really overwhelmed...it was surreal. Me! Hanging in a museum!! :-)

I had a great time admiring all the work and then hovering near my piece to overhear what folks were saying about it. My daughter and husband would spy for me, too. She was hilarious...struck up conversations with many people and would talk up how great she thought the photo was. Heh.

The kiddo lost a tooth as well…eating a cracker. WTF? She says it wasn’t loose. She has quite a few baby teeth still left to come out even though she is 12. Our dentist assures us this is normal. In the dress she was wearing and her heels, she looked at least 17, however, so she blew this woman's mind in the ladies' room who thought lord-knows-what when she saw the bloody paper towel.  When I explained that the kid had lost a tooth she gasped, “OH! She's a youngun’!”

It was a lovely evening and my piece seemed to be getting a lot of positive attention! A few artists and others who I spoke with at different points immediately knew the piece when I told them which was mine. It felt pretty awesome to have someone gasp and say “Oh yes! I remember that one. Very powerful!”

:D :D :D

Yeah, I was smiling a lot.

Click the mosaic below to see a few photos on Flickr if you want!

Coney Island on My Mind

One day soon I will find a rhythm for this blog again other than sporadic, sputtering, posts.
Bullet update!!

• Still have a lot of photos from Pennhurst to edit and upload.
• Went to the Mermaid Parade in Coney Island on Saturday and have a ton of photos to edit and upload from that trip.
• Kiddo started camp yesterday and came home with a huge smile on her face...it went well. She's at a horseback riding camp and loving it.
• I go back to some babysitting this week after a few weeks off.
• I'm recharging myself to submit my work again and get a portfolio site set up and a portfolio book to bring around to local cafes and galleries to see if I can get a show.
• This Saturday is the opening gala of the Harrisburg Art of the State show and I'm looking forward to it!
• It has been 10 weeks since I quit smoking and I am definitely "over the hump". I still miss it and wish I could smoke, but I don't mind not.
• I'm not losing any weight yet, but I am doing my pilates (most) every morning and walking a lot or doing some other form of exercise each day and I'm eating a LOT less. I've been frustrated about not seeing any changes yet but realize I need to have patience...but that is why I've not posted any new "getting fit" photos.
• I am feeling a need to push myself further with my photography, to try things new and perhaps outside my comfort zone. We'll see if this goes anywhere. :-)

"Well hell doesn't want you and heaven is full"

On Saturday I got to begin to explore an abandoned institution I’ve been itching to check out. Pennhurst State School was shut down in 1986 after a class action suit by parents of patients/students there. There is a lot of history and a lot of conflicting accounts of what happened there, but the fact that it became overcrowded remains. And overcrowding can lead to neglect. I’ll let you read the information and draw your own conclusions. This site is incredibly thorough!

It was an incredible afternoon. A Flickr friend of mine, Christy, took the train up from Delaware and we spent three hours exploring. It was exhausting physically, but also psychologically, and we really hadn’t fully prepared ourselves for that emotional impact. We are already organizing another trip there, this time an all day event and better preparation now that we know what is there. We only scratched the surface on Saturday, managing just three buildings on the 1,400- acre campus. There are probably 20 buildings to investigate, at least!

I am working on a set of photos on Flickr, and here is one story from the trip to go with this photo.

There is a large network of tunnels that run underneath Pennhurst, connecting most of the buildings on the campus. Within 20 minutes of arriving, Christy and I ran into two other photographers (who turned out to be on Flickr also and I'm waiting for them to come find me). They had been there once before, but expressed no interest in the tunnels when I asked if we could all go in together (figuring more=better). So Christy and I went to the basement to check it out with the flashlights she'd brought. The dripping water echoed. I shone my light down the tunnel entrance and immediately saw this wheelchair.

No fucking way, I said. I'm not going in there.

We went back upstairs and saw the two photogs again. I said it was too scary, but that they should go have a look. The guy (Chris, I think) went running down and his friend came up behind us as we followed. I suggested again that if we all went together it wouldn't be as scary, and I think Chris had a male moment and needed to lead the charge. ;-)

We passed this and I forced myself to document it even though it meant standing still in there for a second. This chair was halfway between the entrances. We also passed several other tunnels. I'm glad I got the photo. I would go in again if I was with more than 3 others and we had lanterns instead of flashlights. LOL.

Oh, and that thing behind the door? A big clunker of a typewriter (some of you younguns may have never seen one) that appears to be covered in blood, but we're pretty sure it is paint.

:-)

P.S. 5 Weeks no smoking today! Forgot to post my video last week, but it is on Flickr. Will be doing a video update at some point today on Flickr as well. Yay me!

I Can't Keep This From You

Introducing the I-Shot JR Remote!

Have I mentioned before that my husband is a genius? Well, it is true. Back when I first got into taking self-portraits, I needed a remote. He made me one out of an old computer joystick just to see if he could. Yeah.

Then he got more interested in it. He cobbled one together out of things he had in the basement as a surprise for my birthday last summer and it blew me away with all the cool things it could do! We realized this was a solid idea. He then taught himself (taught himself!!) about microchips so he could make a better and more compact version. And voila! The official “ready for prime time” version HERE!!!

Limited release at first, as we need to sell a couple in order to invest in ordering the parts for the rest. Right now I’ve posted this on Flickr to get the first few orders in, and then we can invest in getting the parts to make a larger batch. If you are interested in getting one, let me know because this is first-come; first-serve for now.

The I-Shot JR works for the following CANON cameras (other Canons and Nikon remotes are in development, with other brands to follow if there is enough interest):

EOS Digital Rebel XTi, EOS Digital Rebel XT, EOS Digital Rebel, EOS Elan 7/7E, EOS Elan 7N/7NE, EOS Elan II/IIE, EOS Elan IIE, EOS IX Lite, EOS Rebel 2000, EOS Rebel G, EOS Rebel GII, EOS Rebel T2, EOS Rebel Ti, EOS Rebel X, EOS Rebel XS

I'm going to be uploading a video demonstrating the remote in action and explaining all the features soon, if all goes well. :-)

The details

Cost: $80.00 flat rate which INCLUDES shipping (battery is also included) to anywhere within the Continental US. Anyone anywhere else can contact us for a quote on shipping cost.

What it can do:
The best thing about this for the self-portraitist is the remote stays with the camera. You don't need to hide it in your hand or Photoshop it out later. This also means there is no distance limitation.

You set it to whichever setting you want, and then go in front of the camera. Each timer setting will focus and then take 3 shots over and over again, for as long as you let it go. You can adjust the time between the sets of three shots to be 5, 10, 15 or 20 seconds.

Here's the really cool part. It has a microphone setting that allows you to clap, snap, or whistle (make a noise, in other words) to have it focus, then take three shots. It won't take another three until you make another noise. It also has an instant clap setting that will take a shot in the instant it hears the noise. And of course, there is a manual setting.

So let me know if you are interested in getting one, and I will contact you with our PayPal information or where you are on the waiting list once we are waiting for the parts on the next batch!