Oh Boy...

I debated whether or not to go public with this, but I figured two things.

1. I live almost everything else on the Internet and people are very supportive.

2. I have never tried to do this before, and I think I’ll need all the support I can get.

At 9:30am this morning I smoked what I hope to be my last cigarette ever. Pete and I have been talking about thinking about getting ready to try and quit since last summer, but it is so easy to come up with a million reasons why this day or that day isn’t quite right yet.

Our friend Catherine quit a couple of weeks ago reading the book The Easy Way to Stop Smoking. I remembered that my friend Caitlin lent me a book by the same author many moons ago and I glanced at it, then put it aside because I had no real interest in quitting. I pulled it out and saw it was his second version of the book; The Only Way to Stop Smoking Permanently.

I told Pete maybe we should try reading it aloud together at night and then stop. I was mentally preparing myself. Before we started it, however, Pete abruptly arrived back from a dog walk on Saturday morning and said, “I’m smoking one more cigarette and then I’m done.” We had ¾ of a pack left before we’d have to buy more anyway, and so I decided to have the rest over the next day or so and then stop as well. I’ve now read only one chapter of the book, and will keep reading it since it will hopefully just reinforce my momentum.

Pete’s been doing exceptionally well…though he is finding he has much more time on his hands then ever before. He’s waking up earlier and not spending hours on the porch smoking and thinking like he used to do. He’s eating more, but he’s also walking the dogs farther than before. His mood has been impressive, aside from a small outburst this morning. Heh. I’m the one I’m worried about, as I already have a short temper.

I told my daughter when she got home last night that I was on my last few cigarettes and that Pete had already stopped. At first she wasn’t happy…she was nervous about me “going psycho” on her. Then she cheered for Pete when he came upstairs. I don’t think she really believes me yet, as I’ve been telling her off and on over the years that I would try soon. Always “soon.”

I think to keep me focused and to entertain myself, and because Flickr now allows video (which I think is awesome), tonight I will start a video diary of my experiences. They will probably be a little tongue-in-cheek.

So…wish me luck, Internets! I am going to try to apply things from what I’ve learned in recovery, first and foremost. I am also going to try very hard to take a deep breath before I speak, ever. I’m actually hoping that becomes a habit, because I should be doing it whether I’m smoking or not. I’ve bought lifesavers and gum and I plan to buy those flavored toothpicks. I have to disassociate all the millions of things I associate with smoking, too, and I think that really is the hardest part of quitting.

I plan to put the money aside each week that would have gone to a carton of cigarettes so that we can do something we both want with it if we keep this up for 6 months to a year.  That’s $45.00 a week! If the health reasons weren’t enough, this is a great bonus.

It is well past time to try this.

Comments

[ben]

Best of luck! Smoking (chemicals) is really evil. I know this isn't the norm, but I don't even remember why I quit smoking, it was more like I got back from some trip and said "wow, I forgot to smoke for the last month"... I didn't even have to try... just spaced it. It took almost a decade though before smoking was just revolting. Kat and I have a cigarette once a year, just for comic value and it's finally become "oh gross I can't even finish this".

My advice - go somewhere remote where you can't even get them ... backpacking, sailing, a week on an atoll off Belize :) You're right though, all the "I should be smoking" queues take forever to get rid of.

[Catherine]

Hooray! :) It will be 3 weeks for me on Wednesday, and I'm telling you, it's been just fine! I have never had this experience before - it's always been so, so hard. It took a change in my attitude toward it - I strongly urge you to read that books as fast as possible. The fact that you're worried about it and buying substitutes (gum, flavored toothpicks) are both things he warns against in the book.

By the way, I've gained 1 pound - and I had PMS in that time too. :) So it's totally possible to do it without gaining any weight at all. Again, it's about not using any substitutions - Carr tells us that we don't need any, because we're not giving anything up! We're not being deprived of anything. Smoking does not give us pleasure, ever. That is our addiction talking. The only reason anyone ever smokes, ever, is to cure nicotine cravings. We develop rituals around it - I used to think I "loved" smoking on my deck in the summer evenings, and was worried I would miss that when I quit. The book told me that I will of course enjoy every single aspect of my life MORE without a cigarette, and it's been absolutely 100% on the money so far. I love being a nonsmoker. I don't envy smokers (the way I always have when I've quit before), I pity them. They are still in the grips of their addictions, and I am FREE!

And now, SO ARE YOU!! Congratulations for making such a wonderful choice! :) (((HUG)))

[Julie O]

Hooray! If I can do it (2 1/2 to 3 packs a day) you can!

The magic trick for me was this: I'd feel a craving come on and get more intense. The many many times I tried quitting before, I'd buckle and light up. This time I just kind of stood back and observed the craving, it's peak, and then its recession. Because it does recede. If you wait the full 3 minutes or whatever, the craving goes away. I learned to ride these and weather them. At first they happened like every five minutes, but then as time went on and I got hour after hour under my belt, there were fewer and fewer cravings. And then I was free!

I love being a nonsmoker- I have a healthy body now and I can be athletic and energetic and my hair always smelled clean!

[Julie]

Oh, and I quit with John A- this is so weird, but it was the only time we actually got along for any period of time, I think because we were into it together. We took yoga together and learned to cook Indian food. It was kind of amazing.

Be really really nice to yourselves and find ways to indulge.

[cyndy]

lurker here to cheer you on...I quit 4 years ago next monday - cold turkey. It's hard, but it's well worth it. You will feel much better.

I remember one of the things that helped with my cravings was to be busy - I started gardening, needlepoint, anything to keep busy, especially my hands, so I didn't think about picking up a cigarette.

Good Luck to you and Pete! I am sure you both will do wonderfully!

[Jon]

You SHOULD quit... for the same reasons I SMOKE...

IT'S WHAT YOU WANT! ;)

BEST of luck to you in this, and always... in attaining all that you ever truly desire to attain.

[Lisa]

This is great news! I know you can do it. I quit cold turkey about four years ago. I'm sure you learn this in recovery but my secret to doing it was taking it one day or even one hour at a time. As in, I'm not going to smoke today. Also, having something to do w/your hands helps -- eating carrot sticks or drinking coffee or water or doing whatever little tricks you devise to keep yourself occupied.

In my experience, after about three weeks I didn't even have the urge to smoke any more. Congrats! Just remember, this is very do-able.

[Celeste]

I was never a smoker, but want to cheer you on anyhow! You are a strong woman and you can do it!

[Jan]

Good for you.

My husband started chewing tobacco when he was eleven. Twenty-{mumble} years later, he has quit many times. It's not the physical withdrawal that gets him, EVER. He's an old pro at that. It's the associations, the much-needed stress-relief, the social ramifications that get him every time.

Be gentle on yourself; this is a huge step.

*back to lurking*

[siobhan]

You know how i feel ; ) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kim]

You can do it!!! I smoke free 1 year and 4 months and will NOT tought another cig. as long as I'm in control! Good luck you can do it. Certain time threwout the frist year was hard, but after the year marker, it's smooth sailing.

Set goals for your self, just take baby steps. Have a support system. All these things I know you know from recovery applies with Cigs too. I was once told that cigs are more addicting than any other drug. BUT you can do it.

[Carrie Jo]

The thing that helped me the most with quitting was reminding myself that I won't stink afterward (because I HATE the way cigarettes smell). Then later I would call the craving "dark energy" and tell it to go away and stop messing with my good light energy. Lots and lots of luck to you!

[Jo-Ann]

E and I quit in 2000 on Jan 8th. We picked a date a few months ahead of time and quit. It was hard but we still got married that year LOL.

I actually did an independent study on quitting smoking (I was in my senior year in college) It helped a ton to focus on the quitting like that, especially because I still worked in a bar.

I wish you and Pete tons of luck. Taking it one day at a time helped alot and as another commenter said taking it minutes at a time helped too. When I worked I used to put off smoking for 10 min when I had a craving and it would go away.

Congrats!!

[Rachel]

Sarah-good luck. I know you can do it if you want it. You have been through much worse and came out of it. I still miss smoking at times for the release. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

[Charlie]

There must be something going around... I actually accompanied Cecily to the gym this morning. Yes I said 'gym'. And 'morning'. Spent a combined 40 minutes on two hamster wheel contraptions. Good luck quitting the cigs. Took me a scare 5 years ago to quit.

[Sheri]

oh Sarah! I am so happy you've taken this step and I wish you all the success with it. I quit 6 years ago and sometimes still miss it but it's worth it. When I get a cold now, the cough is gone in a week instead of 3 months.

[jenn]

Yay, Sarah! You. Can. Do. This. We're all here to support you, so feel free to vent to us!!

[Spacemom]

Sarah-

I give you all the support you need! Sometimes, making it public makes it that much harder to keep smoking. You said it, now you do it!
You can do it! I know it is hard, but you can!

[Krista]

I have never smoked, therefore never had to quit smoking - but have seen many people go through it, and can sure see how tough it is - and for that, I wish you so much success.

One thing I did see along the way, was a friend was having a really difficult time quitting because she missed taking a break at work, and just sitting outside in the breeze, thinking and relaxing for a few minutes. She also missed smoking while she drove. So, to supplement that - she got bubbles, and she would conintue to take her normal break time, and sit outside, enjoying the fresh air, blowing bubbles. She also blew bubbles out the windows, and sunroof, in her car while she was driving (at stoplights and whatnot). This not only helped her stop smoking (it occupied her hands, and also gave her the same inhaling, exhaling motion of smoking) but the bubbles brightened her mood - and moods of those in cars around her! Soemthing to think about!

Good luck!

[k]

Delurking to wish you luck. My mom smoked for 40 years and was just diagnosed with emphysema. This is the BEST thing you can do for your husband and your daughter. And remember, no shame in trying the "patch" (what my mom is using and it's working very well) or Chantix, the new prescription med (expensive BUT insurance may cover it and the big pharma companies all have programs to help low-income families out). You personally might not be interested in either one, but then again you might be! Best of luck.

[Roy]

Nobody likes a quiter

[family4peace]

You can do it!! I am almost 12 year clear of smoking. You will be so proud of yourself when you look back on the changes you have made for yourself and your family. And it might even stop your kids from smoking. How kick ass is that?

[Clover]

Good luck!!

[Shara]

Delurking to say you can do it! The first time I tried to quit I ate a lot of gummi bears - not a good choice and I've got the cavities to prove it. The final time that worked (7 years ago!), I kept a bag of salt free brown rice cakes with me and just snacked whenever I needed that physical aspect of it. Not good for gaining weight, but better than oreos or french fries.

I also wanted to pass on this article to you - it's a somewhat humorous look at the aftermath of quitting.
http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/03/14/traister_smoking/index.html

Good luck!

[Beth]

Good luck, Sarah, from another quitter/lurker! I quit ten years ago. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I really regard it as one of the major events of my life, up there with getting married, having kids, etc.

Nico*rette really helped me over the habit hump and then I slowly weaned off of it. It also helped to have a bottle of water with a straw nearby at all times. Anyway, everyone is different but I know you can do it!