I debated whether or not to go public with this, but I figured two things.
1. I live almost everything else on the Internet and people are very supportive.
2. I have never tried to do this before, and I think I’ll need all the support I can get.
At 9:30am this morning I smoked what I hope to be my last cigarette ever. Pete and I have been talking about thinking about getting ready to try and quit since last summer, but it is so easy to come up with a million reasons why this day or that day isn’t quite right yet.
Our friend Catherine quit a couple of weeks ago reading the book The Easy Way to Stop Smoking. I remembered that my friend Caitlin lent me a book by the same author many moons ago and I glanced at it, then put it aside because I had no real interest in quitting. I pulled it out and saw it was his second version of the book; The Only Way to Stop Smoking Permanently.
I told Pete maybe we should try reading it aloud together at night and then stop. I was mentally preparing myself. Before we started it, however, Pete abruptly arrived back from a dog walk on Saturday morning and said, “I’m smoking one more cigarette and then I’m done.” We had ¾ of a pack left before we’d have to buy more anyway, and so I decided to have the rest over the next day or so and then stop as well. I’ve now read only one chapter of the book, and will keep reading it since it will hopefully just reinforce my momentum.
Pete’s been doing exceptionally well…though he is finding he has much more time on his hands then ever before. He’s waking up earlier and not spending hours on the porch smoking and thinking like he used to do. He’s eating more, but he’s also walking the dogs farther than before. His mood has been impressive, aside from a small outburst this morning. Heh. I’m the one I’m worried about, as I already have a short temper.
I told my daughter when she got home last night that I was on my last few cigarettes and that Pete had already stopped. At first she wasn’t happy…she was nervous about me “going psycho” on her. Then she cheered for Pete when he came upstairs. I don’t think she really believes me yet, as I’ve been telling her off and on over the years that I would try soon. Always “soon.”
I think to keep me focused and to entertain myself, and because Flickr now allows video (which I think is awesome), tonight I will start a video diary of my experiences. They will probably be a little tongue-in-cheek.
So…wish me luck, Internets! I am going to try to apply things from what I’ve learned in recovery, first and foremost. I am also going to try very hard to take a deep breath before I speak, ever. I’m actually hoping that becomes a habit, because I should be doing it whether I’m smoking or not. I’ve bought lifesavers and gum and I plan to buy those flavored toothpicks. I have to disassociate all the millions of things I associate with smoking, too, and I think that really is the hardest part of quitting.
I plan to put the money aside each week that would have gone to a carton of cigarettes so that we can do something we both want with it if we keep this up for 6 months to a year. That’s $45.00 a week! If the health reasons weren’t enough, this is a great bonus.
It is well past time to try this.
