"Just remember that death is not the end"

Uncle Jack just passed away this morning.

Turns out, things were really bad after all. He had severe damage to his spinal cord, as well as degenerative damage to some bones in his neck. Nobody knows exactly what happened. He fell, but we don’t know how, and when my father saw him in the hospital on Saturday he had two black eyes, was unable to communicate verbally at all, and was having severe trouble breathing. The doctor told his son, my cousin Joel, that he should probably let him go—and that it would be in the next 48 hours. The day before my father saw him he was talking fine.

Uncle Jack was the ‘baby’ of his family…the youngest child and only son with three sisters. Anna died in early 1996 and my Grandma Fay died almost a year ago. Aunt Sarah, the oldest, is 95 years old and in a rehab with a broken pelvis. She was so angry with my grandmother for dying before her—I remember at the hospital last year her crying out, “I’m supposed to go first! I’m the oldest!”

I’m so afraid of how she’ll take the news that her baby brother has died.

I am very worried about Joel. I am so glad he has his sweet wife right now, but Joel already lost a brother and I know he feels that emptiness every single day. I hope I can be here for him…I hope he lets himself get the love he thinks he doesn’t deserve.

This is what happens when we start getting old, barring tragedy. Our loved ones start leaving us and we feel the sting of mortality and the burden of age a little more. We feel the joy of loved ones and the simple pleasures in life a little more, too, I hope.

I’m going to miss Uncle Jack…his raw humor, his cynicism, but most of all the incredible warmth and love he always showered on me whenever I saw him. My family is nothing if not fiercely loyal to one another—a lesson I’ve always cherished. No matter how crazy a person might make you; no matter how nutty you think they are; no matter what: if they are family, you do anything for them.

Comments

[Shelli]

I am sorry about your Uncle Jack. I hope your family will be able to find peace in this difficult time.

[Catherine]

Oh gosh, Sarah, I'm so sorry. I agree with you about family, and luckily Joel has you and the rest of the family right now to lean on. I too hope he will ask for help if he needs it. My sympathies to you and your family right now. *hug*

[Kate S.]

Sarah,
I am so sorry for your loss, and my heart goes out to your entire family, but especially Joel and your Aunt Sarah. All of my grandparents are now deceased, and I know that my parents are more aware of their own mortality than ever before--and as their children, so are we. It's a frightening thing to think about, and to realize. I have yet to come to much wisdom regarding death, so instead I offer you my best wishes for you and your family in this tough time. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

[Jessica]

Aww, Sarah - I am so sorry, dear.

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry.

[Menita]

Oh Sarah, I am so sorry.

[Sheri]

thoughts and prayers with you and your family at this time, Sarah. I'm sorry for your loss of Uncle Jack.

[Libby]

Oh Sarah, that is so sad. I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Leggy]

I'm sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.

[nick]

I am so sorry for your loss, and I think you are correct in saying what you did about family. My whole family is fucking nuts but when it comes down to it I would do anything for them.

Love
Nick

[Cecily]

God, I'm so sorry. I remember him from the wedding--he was hilarious.

Let me know if I can do anything.

[Rob]

May your dear Uncle Jack rest in peace.

[julie]

Oh, Sarah, how sad. I'm so sorry for you and your family.

[Lala]

g-dspeed Uncle Jack.

[Elise]

So so sorry for your loss - and I love what you said about family. Thoughts and prayers with all of you.

[Coral]

My thoughts are with you. Remember him with joy, and not with sadness.
hugs
Coral

[SandyG28]

I'm sorry for your loss. Your title is so apt though ... remember, death is indeed not the end. Take good care.

[Heather]

I'm so sorry - you're in my thoughts and prayers.

[mihow]

I'm so sorry, honey. :[

What a handsome fella.

[maia]

He looked like a character. So sorry for you and your families loss. Hope the trip goes smoothly and you get the chance to reconnect with other family members.

[Amanda B.]

I'm sorry honey. He had a great grin.

[Joel]

My father will be missed. He was a kind and loving person and always did things for others. At a time like this I am glad we have family to lean on. Looking forward to seeing you and mom and dad.

Dad lived a good life and he always made people laugh.

[Cousin Marion]

What a marvelous beatiful entry.
He was a pseudo Uncle to me and most beloved and respected extended family member.
G-d Bless Him
I am assured that there is a Heaven now that he is entering.
G-d Bless you and your BLOG.

[Lisa O]

I'm so very sorry Sarah. I've said a prayer for your Uncle Jack.

[Rachel]

Sarah, I'm very sorry to hear about your uncle Jack. What a loss...