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« Summer Lovin' | Main | "The river-boat captain, he knows my fate" »

Sunday, June 12, 2005

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sandy

Same thing happened to me in a parking lot once -- same snotty tome, same eyes looking at me as if I were a bug. It took me a while, but I finally realized that I was obsessing about the interaction because I felt like she had taken something from me -- like human dignity or something (like she had the right or the power to do so!?!) Anyway, I wanted to take something from her in return. Like her windshield, or a headlamp or an ounce of blood. So yeah, be proud of not smashing her windshield.

jessica

I think it's pretty amazing of you, Sarah, to consider what that mean lady might or might not have recently experienced that could have contributed to her reaction to you. On one hand, you could have said, "I'm sorry" and her ugliness might have been what hung in the air, causing her to regret it. Conversely, she might be one of those people who likes to make people jump through hoops and a polite apology from you might have been exactly what she expected and is use to. I'm just glad it didn't ruin your whole day.

I don't think being affected by that woman's tone of voice to the point that you returned to it and felt bothered by it later indicates something is wrong with you - I think it makes you a human being who, on any given day, gives more common courtesy to those around you than most.

Elise

Oh, I would have gone over that encounter in my head a thousand times. And I would have gotten angrier and angrier each time I thought of it. And then I would have gone to that "why does this shit always happen to me" kind of place. I think your way of dealing with it is much healthier! But I'm sorry she was such a bitch to you. There is no reason for that kind of mean tone!

SandyG28

I'm always amazed at how we can never comfortably return to our old behaviours once we've realized that they don't work for us. And for the record - I've tapped and run many times. Glad you had a good visit with your friend, and that you got all the paperwork off to the other side of the pond.

Sylvie

Oh, I can totally relate. I am in the middle of an annoying thing with Direct TV -- and it is making me SO MAD. I mean, it is annoying, but it's not such a big deal -- they just entered a work order incorrectly into their system and it is apparently very difficult for them to fix. But eventually they'll work it out, or I'll get my money back. I never get mad about these things, but I thought I'd lost it this morning after staying home a 3rd time waiting for them to fix it, and they didn't show. Definitely annoying - but I'm sure I'm so emotional about it because my wedding is in 12 (!) days and I'm just flipping out on details. I still reserve the right to throw a cream pie in the face of the stupid person who has caused me all this trouble, but I realize that I'm reacting so much because I'm overwhelmed, rather than because some silly computer person is unable to listen properly.

Emily

Sarah, I am glad you post about this stuff.
For the past two years I have been battling Philadelphia Gas Works. After a few years of finally getting my credit all fixed up and in order, I was shocked to find a 3,000 dollar debt that was issued to a collection agency on my credit report from PGW. This was 2 years ago. This is not a debt I owe. I have spent the past 2 years doing everything possible to get this fixed..I mean everything. Recently, I gave up the fight and just bartered PGW down enough to an amount I could afford to pay...just so, you know, I can have some credit and maybe get a house, a car or a credit card someday.
Even after paying the $$ I do not owe, the issue is still unresolved. Recently while on the phone with a credit agency, I completely lost my shit. The phone representative is not personally responsible but I just couldn't stand it anymore. I vomited my wrath from the past 2 years on the phone to this man. I ended up feeling both justified and crappy about that moment, I replay the scenario over and over again. Still, It did nothing to resolve the issue. I totally understand and like the other commenters I agree that the fact that you are even are thinking about "your part" in that moment is so cool...I love you.

Julie

Oh, if thinking about that woman makes you have a mental problem, then move over honey, I'll be joining you in the loony bin! I can spend DAYS going over and over something like that. And know what I've realized- it's NOT always something wrong with us. Sometimes people are just assholes, period. The only thing that helps me at all with stuff like that is to be a good example and try be super sweet wherever I go. Works maybe 40% of the time!

Heather

You handled the situation much better than me. And I obsess over that stuff too - I need to let things go. Sounds like you did the right thing!! (Especially with munchkin there!)

And I'm glad you got that paperwork off! Hurray! One more step complete!

Cecily

I know I obsess over those situations when I don't say to the person what I wanted to say. OR because I'm afraid they won't like me. Either way, it fucks me up.

Grrrrr.

Amanda B.

Bwahahaha. Aye,there's the rub. "But I didn't actually harm the lady, right! So, for me that progress!" :D

Glad things are coming together, even though it is hectic and stressful.

Leslie

Two years and four months later ...

You paraphrase, "The spiritual axiom we talk about in recovery is that every time we are disturbed, there is invariably something wrong with us." and then ask, "Is it wrong that part of me is just proud that I didn’t smash her windshield?"

I think about this and wonder if this is what you identified as the 'something' that was 'wrong' with you at the time you felt so disturbed.

So, I 'bump' into someone's car with mine and I'm disturbed that someone is disturbed by that? Her fault because of her snotty tone and upset ...

In any case, I'm just a passing browser, who found your blog and beautiful photography as a result of Googling the spiritual axiom.


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