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« Callou! Calais! | Main | From the Mouths of Babes »

Monday, January 31, 2005


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She is a strong and beautiful child, and you are doing a wonderful job--even if she doesn't know it. Remember that.

Jessica Prince

Love this post....many times I have said the exact same things.

First of all, my 14 year old son is goalie. The only thing worse than watching a goalie get pummeled is when it's YOUR kid. Kudos to your team for being so supportive - there is such a pressure on those guys (and gals!).

Secondly, like you, I take the role of being open and honest - communicative with my child regarding drugs/alcohol and sex in hopes that he will rely on me as a resource for good information and support.


This is a great post. I think you are doing the right thing by being bluntly honest with your daughter, for two reasons. 1. I think, in general, this is the more succesful parenting style, and 2. I've met your girl and I think she can handle it. :)

Amanda B.

I think we all go through a self destructive phase. But look at you now, you got through it. You seem like a wonderful mother, and I think honesty is the best policy.

Your daughter is lucky to have a Mamma that cares so much about her. :)


My mother was like that. She always told me that if I ever had any questions I was to come to her first because she would give me a straight answer. She didn't want me getting wrong information from my friends.

I say keep doing what you're doing. You'll know if you need to change because the behavior will change as well.


I'm a lurker (came over from Cecily's blog) and have to say you are so right in what you are doing. Wondering if I had had a supportive, open and loving mom who treated me like I was old enough to know if I was old enough to ask I would not have been the teenaged hellion I was. Go Mom!


I just found your blog through the comments on Dooce's daily photo, and I just had to comment on this entry.

My opinion may not mean all that much, as I'm not a mother yet, but I have to say that I agree wholeheartedly with how you are raising your daughter. Open communication, and being aware of your own and her problems are probably the best ways to ensure that she grows up just generally okay. My mom raised me like this, and I'm so incredibly grateful-- it didn't mean I didn't fuck up a lot, but it did mean that I knew I could come to her about ANY horrible thing I'd done or been through, and she would be there for me.

I was raised in a really small town where 99% of the parents did exactly the opposite of this, and holy hell it showed. And I do mean hell.



I think I have a new reason to read your blog as much as I can. You're one step ahead of me in parenting, my oldest daughter just turned 8 and we're headed into the same area. My girls also know a good deal about childbirth and that we are sexual in nature, mostly because of my work in the field, but I still find myself gulping when they ask questions.

I think a sign of a good, positive parenting technique is questioning/examining it as it progresses. You're doing great!



hi friends dont be silly save u r self from baster gils


First--Congrats, newlywed! (Yes, I'm posting to this far, far after you wrote it, but I just read it today as I checked in on the off chance that you'd posted after your wedding, though I'm glad to see that you haven't actually, since it means you are still having time for you and your new DH).

In any case, I just wanted to say that my mom did what you are doing. Did I get in trouble? Yup. YOu bet. But I was the only one of my group who got mixed up in things but knew a way out. I had the self confidence to say no, and the resources to get myself out of bad situations b/c I knew I could call my mom if I HAD to. Not that I wanted to, but I could. So no one could put me in that impossible spot of having to choose one danger over another in order to keep my parents from finding out whatever crazy-ass thing I was up to.

I hope I can be as good a mom to my son, as you are to your wonderful daughter. Girls I get, but boys...oh my. I worry sometimes about how to do this. He's only 2 right now, so I guess I have some time to figure it out.

Congrats again.


Do not doubt yourself in this regard. How I wish my mom would have answered my questions WHEN I asked them. I remember asking about tampons in grade 5. She told me she would tell me when it was time. Well that time never came and when I had to tell her I had gotten my period it was miserably uncomfortable all round.

My kids have been raised to know mom will answer their questions when they ask them. They are open and honest with me as I am with them. I only hope this continues through the ages, so much healthier all round.

Rachel Timmons

I'm also not a mom yet, but someday...I really believe in the kind of approach you're taking. Who's to say what my future child/ren will be like, but it's genuinely the kind of parent I aspire to be. Sounds like you're doing a great job, and I feel you on being glad you're not 14 anymore--I think she'll weather it fine, though, knowing she's got a mom--and yes, a friend--like you. Kudos! :)

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