My husband-to-be celebrates another year older today! He is ten and a half years older than I, something that I find mildly amusing since now I can always feel young by comparison, but mostly that is a fact that matters not in the least.
Meeting this man has been one of the most amazing things in my life. Even when we only e-mailed as friends—something we did with no inappropriate comments or innuendos for over a year and a half—his impact was felt and noticed in my day-to-day life. He did that from another part of the world. My confidence level rose, my steps became lighter, my life became more beautiful. I talked about my conversations with him all the time without even realizing it, but my friends who heard me and my parents all suspected something long before Pete or I ever did.
When we came to discover that we were in love with each other, I was terrified! So many years I spent with various men who did not treat me well, so many years wasted thinking I didn’t deserve any better (sadly a trait common among women, especially alcoholics). And now this man I had grown to love as a friend, who I had grown to trust implicitly, wanted to discover what we could be together. I pummeled him with questions, doubts, insecurities. He patiently responded to my every concern, backed off when I asked him to back off, was there when I needed him to be there, and consistently gave me answers that were the absolute correct thing to say—answers I did not know were what I wanted/needed to hear until I read them. He came to visit for a week this past August so we could find out if the things we felt via the computer would translate to real life. To my surprise, they were even better. Natural, comfortable, easy, fun, inspirational, loving, and true: these are some of the feelings I have with him. By the end of the week, there were no doubts in my mind whatsoever. I wanted to marry this man.
Never before had I felt so sure about anything. Ever.
Let me tell you a little about Pete. His is incredibly kind and gentle, with a heart that has the capacity for great feeling. He is incapable of killing even a spider, as he has a soft spot for all creatures…mostly the furry ones. He is brilliant, constantly coming up with ‘wacky ideas’ that are actually quite well-thought out, but more than that—he will go ahead and try them! He is talented, both as an illustrator and as a writer. He has a depth of understanding that is comforting. He is very witty and makes me laugh all the time and even better, I can make him laugh too! We laugh a lot. He cheers me up exactly the right way when I need it, and I do the same for him. He motivates me and helps me believe I can do anything I set my mind to. He supports me no matter what, and I actually BELIEVE that! He makes me feel loved for being ME, and I never had that with any intimate relationship, ever. Because of that, because I trust that, I am able to be open with him as I could never be. He is a generous lover, friend, and partner, and I am so very proud to call him my fiancé, and will be even prouder to call him my husband.
Here is a picture of us on top of the Empire State Building in October. We were officially engaged that night at the Metropolitan Opera during the intermission for Carmen!
Happy Birthday, Baby. Just when I think I can’t love you any more, I do.
I'm teary over here at work - what a wonderful tribute to Pete. Send him happy birthday wishes from me! (p.s. when do we get to see him again?)
Posted by: Elise | Wednesday, January 26, 2005 at 02:54 PM
sniff, sniff (wipes tissue on nose) - that was so beautiful. He sounds like a dream come true. May you always be this happy!
Posted by: Sheri | Wednesday, January 26, 2005 at 05:14 PM
Happy Birthday Pete! What a wonderful post! Also making me feel guilty for not saying things like this to my husband. Anyway, congrats to you both, too, for finding this kind of love!
Stella
Posted by: stella | Wednesday, January 26, 2005 at 05:27 PM
And Charlie and I love him too! And that's saying something, since he's the first one I haven't wanted to murder after spending an hour with him! :)
Happy Birthday, Pete. Thanks for making my best friend so goddamned happy.
Posted by: Cecily | Wednesday, January 26, 2005 at 07:02 PM
How lucky you are to have found your sweet Pete. I too have a sweet Pete and after 16 years together still find myself so happy that we are still functioning, happy, going to grow even more grey together couple. All the best to you both and enjoy your wedding :)
Posted by: amy | Thursday, January 27, 2005 at 12:28 AM
A very happy birthday to Pete (I know I'm late, but I know you understand why).
Posted by: DMouse | Thursday, January 27, 2005 at 08:02 AM
How sweet --- sounds like a keeper and then some. :)
Posted by: pregnancyweekly | Thursday, January 27, 2005 at 02:42 PM
Happy Birthday Pete! Congrats on finding Sarah too! You are a beautiful couple.
Posted by: Amanda B. | Thursday, January 27, 2005 at 04:42 PM
Happy Birthday Pete! P.S. My Father In Law as well as Brotehr in law are Petes as well as my cat. That name rules!
Posted by: AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch | Thursday, January 27, 2005 at 07:16 PM
I happened upon your site while visiting my neices site. Found your writing very interesting. I once had an "internet" love. Didn't turn out as happy as yours seems to be.
I also picked up on the "alcoholic" comments. Another thing we have in common. Seems I've been down your path with you. Good luck and God bless.
Jag
Posted by: jag | Wednesday, February 02, 2005 at 09:40 AM