Sad and Beautiful World

Lazy days 25 and 26

 

Reaching and Retracting

I took a self-portrait outside last night and nothing bad happened! Someone walked by and didn't laugh at me. I make my progress in baby steps...

Then today I felt more introverted than ever. I am a bit unsteady on my feet of late. Lots of things going on internally (emotionally) and internally (family) and internally (something else). Trying to do the next right thing can be a huge struggle sometimes, and when I'm not sure what the next right thing is to do I figure it's better to do nothing. This can leave me sitting in a very uncomfortable place where I really want to have a cigarette again (been close to 3 years since I quit. Wow, it seems longer than that). Anyway. I've been in this feeling before. Nothing to do but sit with it.

I have this alternate shot from today that I also really love, but the light/color of the one above was too good to waste. This alternate one is another long exposure using motion to create two images (I love the results of this play). What I adore most about this one is that the left or rear profile of me looks SO much like my profile as a child. Spooky and cool at once. :)

Can you see that or is it just me?

2012 needs to be The Year I Get Over Myself

I went up to Beacon, NY to visit with my friend Jennifer right before bitterly cold temps and snow came, which only gave us the permission we didn't need to snuggle under blankets all day Saturday with books and kitties and snacks and movies, only putting some clothes on to go across the street after a late nap in order to pick up dinner. Saturday was pure bliss. Friday afternoon and night were pretty good too, as I went to see the wonderful no-kill shelter where Jen volunteers a lot of her time--Mid-Hudson Animal Aid. We visited with many, many cats and I even got to snorgle a 6-day old kitten, which pretty much made sure 2012 will be the best ever.

I took a self-portrait for Friday outside the shelter:

Then on Saturday I took one in the hallway/stairwell of Jen's apartment building. So much brick!

And then yesterday I drove up to Kingston to meet some friends for lunch before getting back on the Thru-way for home. I thought I might actually stop somewhere interesting to take a self-portrait outside, but I wasn't off the highway until it was dark and it was cold and several other lame excuses I'm sure. One thing I hope to do during this year of SP's is to get the hell over my fear of using my camera in public. Take my clothes off in an abandoned building? No problem. Look "stupid" or "narcissistic" by taking a self-portrait out in the park? Forget about it. The outside portrait on Friday was wayyyy outside my comfort zone, isn't that just ridiculous? I know it is. I need to relax. I already look stupid and narcissistic to tons of people. What's a few more?

But I didn't manage it yesterday. I got home, had something to eat, then went skulking down to my basement for this photo:

Hope you all had a lovely weekend. :)