Oh Boy...

I debated whether or not to go public with this, but I figured two things.

1. I live almost everything else on the Internet and people are very supportive.

2. I have never tried to do this before, and I think I’ll need all the support I can get.

At 9:30am this morning I smoked what I hope to be my last cigarette ever. Pete and I have been talking about thinking about getting ready to try and quit since last summer, but it is so easy to come up with a million reasons why this day or that day isn’t quite right yet.

Our friend Catherine quit a couple of weeks ago reading the book The Easy Way to Stop Smoking. I remembered that my friend Caitlin lent me a book by the same author many moons ago and I glanced at it, then put it aside because I had no real interest in quitting. I pulled it out and saw it was his second version of the book; The Only Way to Stop Smoking Permanently.

I told Pete maybe we should try reading it aloud together at night and then stop. I was mentally preparing myself. Before we started it, however, Pete abruptly arrived back from a dog walk on Saturday morning and said, “I’m smoking one more cigarette and then I’m done.” We had ¾ of a pack left before we’d have to buy more anyway, and so I decided to have the rest over the next day or so and then stop as well. I’ve now read only one chapter of the book, and will keep reading it since it will hopefully just reinforce my momentum.

Pete’s been doing exceptionally well…though he is finding he has much more time on his hands then ever before. He’s waking up earlier and not spending hours on the porch smoking and thinking like he used to do. He’s eating more, but he’s also walking the dogs farther than before. His mood has been impressive, aside from a small outburst this morning. Heh. I’m the one I’m worried about, as I already have a short temper.

I told my daughter when she got home last night that I was on my last few cigarettes and that Pete had already stopped. At first she wasn’t happy…she was nervous about me “going psycho” on her. Then she cheered for Pete when he came upstairs. I don’t think she really believes me yet, as I’ve been telling her off and on over the years that I would try soon. Always “soon.”

I think to keep me focused and to entertain myself, and because Flickr now allows video (which I think is awesome), tonight I will start a video diary of my experiences. They will probably be a little tongue-in-cheek.

So…wish me luck, Internets! I am going to try to apply things from what I’ve learned in recovery, first and foremost. I am also going to try very hard to take a deep breath before I speak, ever. I’m actually hoping that becomes a habit, because I should be doing it whether I’m smoking or not. I’ve bought lifesavers and gum and I plan to buy those flavored toothpicks. I have to disassociate all the millions of things I associate with smoking, too, and I think that really is the hardest part of quitting.

I plan to put the money aside each week that would have gone to a carton of cigarettes so that we can do something we both want with it if we keep this up for 6 months to a year.  That’s $45.00 a week! If the health reasons weren’t enough, this is a great bonus.

It is well past time to try this.

Comments

[Julie]

Hi Sarah! I just wanted to say congrats!

Welcome to the wonderful world of non-smokers :)

[Julie]

P.S. Just remember - no situation can ever be changed by smoking. Also - check out quitnet.net - it's a great resource!

[Kathleen]

Hi - I am a new reader/former smoker who quit 12 years ago. One day, I just surrendered. I just gave in, gave up, went limp, whatever. It was strangely relaxing, and liberating, and motivating. Some of my more vivid memories of those early non-smoking days were the dreams I'd have after a month, or 2 months, or 6 months of not smoking. I'd dream that I had a few drags of a cigarette and I'd feel absolutely miserable. Pure dread. And then I'd wake up and realize that it was just a dream - and I had not ruined my newly-turning pink lungs! Such sweet relief. It was like redemption. Quitting is a fantastic journey. You can do it.

[AmyinMotown]

Hi Sarah, I came over here from Cecily's blog and wanted to say ATTAGIRL and offer my email if you need support. I quit four years ago, it will be five years (WOW!! FIVE YEARS!!!) this summer, and holy cats it was like the hardest thing ever.

Here's one thing I did that helped me: I made lists of things I loved and would miss about smoking, things I hated and would not miss about smoking, and things I looked forward to in becoming a nonsmoker. I printed out the latter two in big colorful type and posted them on the side of the fridge, where I would see them several times a day as I got coffee, cooked, etc.

This also helped: http://www.quitnet.com/. At the time they were doing a study and I got free phone counseling. People were surprised how much assistance I used, but I was like "I have to do this, and I am using whatever weapons I can." And it worked--I am now at the point where it feels weird that I ever smoked.

You can do this -- you've beaten other addictions, you can beat this one.

[Val]

I quit smoking regularly after I got a bad cold and "could not" smoke for a week. I figured if I could go a week, I could quit. The price of a carton of cigs had skyrocketed to $15! After that I only smoked when I drank. Since drinking dwindled to a couple of times a year, it wasn't much. After a few years, it stopped. Until... My best friend and her partner had a house fire. To make a long story short, finances required her to take a huge chunk of insurance money to make the mortgage current. It lead to us doing alot of work on the house. Owww - the stress. They lived on diet soda and cigs and so did I when I went down on the weekends to help.

Two years later, the house is owned by the mortgage company, and I still smoked when I visited. Now, my friends quit smoking - the cost was too high - both in health and money. And I don't smoke! Yipee.

[amy]

I have been trying to quit for the past two years. I have done hypnotherapy, the patch, cold turkey, using the book you read (great book, so true.), and the gum.

It was only today that I smoked the last cigarette I will ever smoke. You see today I went for a biopsy and removal on a white lump on my inner cheek. Something that has been haunting me for the past two weeks while I waited for my surgery day. Visions of leaving my 3 kids and husband without a mom or wife. A gruesome death.

I quit for 12 days up until tonight. Bought a pack and smoked one. THE FINAL ONE. This was the wake up call I so totally needed.

Oral surgeon assures me it is NOT cancer. A non-malignant lump which is GONE along with surrounding tissue. I am so thankful to have this opportunity to QUIT...

If I can say anything that you will follow is please go to quitnet.com and sign up. The support is incredible.

Go GIRL!

[amy]

http://bc.quitnet.com/f/community/talk/

My salvation :)

[bec]

I quit two months ago and it's been ok, in fact much easier than I'd anticipated. I had a few "episodes" the first week but after that pretty managable. I agree with the advice to just surf the craving (it really does go away after a few minutes) and to remember to take nice deep breaths when you feel your resolve weakening. Good luck

[onadrought]

Good on you. I quit 10 years ago, and it's the best tning I've ever done. Please, please, please try to stick to it as it will be one of the best things you've ever done as you'll have your health, which is more important than money. And in an appeal to vanity, it saves your skin and teeth.
I found I had to avoid situations where I'd want to smoke, eg parties, coffees with other smokers, but I only had to do this for about a month.
In Australia, smoking has become so socially unacceptable that it helps you to give up.
When I went to France a couple of years ago, smoking was everywhere. It mad me sick.
Best of luck Sarah. You can do it!