First off, let me say thank you to those who commented on my last post, and I’m sorry that I did not respond by e-mail to each of you. The comments were helpful…of course the doctor did not bother to mention that asthma could have triggers and not show up with normal running around activity. Still, I don’t think asthma is what she has, but if she gets sick like that again I will be taking her to a specialist. The reason I still don’t think it is asthma is because when she had pneumonia in December, the doctor gave her this breathing treatment with drugs in it after thinking it was asthma, and no difference was made. All that happened was my daughter got all hyped up and wigged out from it, and I got mad because it was not made clear to me that she was being given drugs. I won’t rule it out, however, thanks to your comments.
I’ve been adjusting to my new busier schedule of babysitting now three days a week, and extra hours being added pretty much every week. The extra money is really helping take the edge off, just as I had hoped. Even though I am tired, I very much enjoy having somewhere to go a few days a week to get out of the house. It is helping me budget my time better and enjoy my time at home more.
Last weekend I was hired by the lovely Liana to take photos at her gorgeous daughter’s baptism ceremony. I was a nervous wreck inside, but strutted around like I knew what I was doing. I got so worked up about it afterwards that I was convinced the photos sucked and I’d have to give her the money back, but after taking some deep breaths and creating a slide show of the best images I edited, I realized they were pretty good. I showed them to the mom I baby-sit for and my husband to get a general reaction and felt a lot better. The best is that Liana and her husband Mason are pleased, and she boosted my ego ten-fold with the comments she made! I went out this past Saturday to take some more photos because I never got the baby in her full-gowned glory…she was being held during the ceremony and then she fell asleep before the reception and didn’t wake up until after I left. Damn, but that kid is gorgeous. I think it is probably impossible to take a bad photo of her!
Biggest compliment of all was that she wants to recommend me to others, and someone through her who wants family photos in April just contacted me! I’m on my way, so now I have to get off my ass and set up the Typepad site that is just for commissioned photography (Cecily has been bugging me, and she’s right). Question for you all out there: should I list pricing or not? Most people seem not to do it, and as a consumer it always bothers me. I don’t want to have to contact someone only to find out they are nowhere near my price range, you know? But there must be some reason for not listing pricing that I’m not thinking about. I’m guessing it is because one’s prices are outrageously high, which mine are not (yet. Heh). So I’d like to hear your opinion on the matter.
In other photography-related things, I’ve been feeling much more of a struggle with my 365 this second year, but I’m pushing on. I think it is a combination of things making me feel frustrated: I’m busier, for one thing; I am putting far more pressure on myself to come up with something “amazing”; doing this every day, it is impossible to always be “amazing” and this leaves me feeling depressed about it. I think I am also reacting to what we in recovery call “self-centered fear.” I am getting my work seen more and it is well past time to take things to the next level. That means submitting my art to galleries, online publications, and applying for grants. Why does this terrify me? How crazy do I sound when I say that becoming successful with it scares me just as much as failing at it? ☺
Nothing changes if nothing changes. And nothing scares an alcoholic/addict more than change, good or bad. But it is time for things to change, and time for me to stop dragging my feet. One little submission at a time, I think I can do this. My mother gave me an application for a statewide competition and the deadline is March 1st. I’m selecting my work for it and will mail my CD and application tomorrow. Then I will worry about what comes next.