Sad and Beautiful World

I Can't Keep This From You

TequilaCon'08 Hangover: Regrets

TequilaCon was this past Saturday night right here in Philadelphia! I just want to say first off that Jenny rules and Dave’s swag is the coolest swag I’ve ever gotten my hands on, and Vahid was the most welcoming charmer. The place was so much more comfortable than I thought it would be (I was worried it would have too much of a “we’re so hip and trendy” vibe). It was really laid back and the staff was wonderful.

I feel really badly though, for not making more of an effort to get to know people I hadn’t met before. I already know that I’m socially retarded, and when I got sober over 12 years ago it became painful, but did improve. Just never as easy as when I was drinking, of course. Anyway, it seems like it got worse again over the past few years, and I think a lot of that is because I go out less and less. I got to meet Shelli, but didn't spend enough time with her. The hugs were totally awesome, though! I did get to meet Karl, finally, which was really cool as he has been very supportive of my photography since I started the self-portrait thing (and I honestly don’t think it is because I get naked often). I also got to meet Abagail and Shiny and Dan and then see again Jenny, Dustin, Kat, Jill, Sandra, and others. I missed Brandon, but I’ve taken his face home for comfort. Heh.

I did what I normally do, though, and that is to pick seat and basically glue myself to it. So if folks came by where I was, I spoke with them. Otherwise, I didn’t. And now I feel badly for not making more of an effort, because I didn’t have a bad time, but I know I could have had a better time if I didn’t find it so difficult to speak with people! I hate feeling this raw. And of course, the just shy of three weeks without cigarettes made me that much more raw. So I wanted to smoke. A lot.

I am hoping TequilaCon is held in Chicago next year. I want to visit there and I want to try this again without my eyes to the floor.

Three Weeks!